A Place above the clouds

“Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.”  -Oscar Wilde.

From the prominence placed on higher education, you’d think it was the be all and end all of human existance. As if a diploma was the seal of validity, the certitude of success, the meaning of life. And those who lack (or fail to attain) this distinction are base, contemptable  wretches who don’t deserve the dirt beneath their feet.

Forget the facts: 85% of our country’s 300 million denizens hold a high school diploma. And 65% of today’s graduates immediately matriculate to college. But 40% of them drop out within their first year; less than half graduate in four years. The result? Only 29% of Americans hold a four year degree.

Nevertheless, I have embarked upon the tempestuous trail to Collegehood. Step 1: Find a college. I suppose I could just eenie-meenie-minee-mo my way through the thing, but no, I’ve got consciously consider my options. The right location ensures eternal happiness, but the wrong one (according to my academic counselor) will fuck you up like you won’t believe. Keep in mind, I’ll be spending the next four years of my life at this campus, and those four years have the capacity to determine all the ones that follow (according to my parents). This is a life or death decision (according to all the complete strangers who act on the urge to shower me with their alma mater’s stats).

Between the U.S. and Canada, there are over 4,000 Houses of Higher Learning. And from the internet, they all look pretty much the same. (That eenie-meenie thing doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?) It took a while, but eventually I complied a list of 40 or so colleges worthy of closer examination. The next few posts will be devoted to their pros and cons, in a sort of Survivor-style smackdown: The Collegiate Version.  

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